46 days & 47 nights

46 days and 47 nights

This will be 8 weeks post Honeymoon.

Whats so significant of this date? well according to health websites, this is the time in which any couple planning any pregnancies should wait, following travel to countries/areas of high for Zika Virus.   Further research into this virus shows that it has been around for over 50 years.  It has become news to us in the UK following an outbreak in South America and the links between this disease and birth defects discovered for women who had the virus whilst pregnant, however the main reason we know about this virus is because of the Olympics.  There was talk of possibilities of not holding the games there because of the risk of contracting the virus and some athletes chose to stay away because of this.

It is quite extraordinary really, when faced with some facts of what has been going on in a country, some will choose for their own valid reasons to travel or not travel.

I have always been one to typically to continue to travel.

Being 35 years old, I have come across many variations of warnings about risks of having children after 30 years old.  Increased risks of birth defects and Downs Syndrome.  Working in healthcare where I come in contact with only sick children, makes one truly see the miracle and blessing of having a healthy baby!

There are some that simply wish for the baby to be a boy/girl, to fulfil their all time dreams of parenthood to that particular sex of child.  Boy or Girl is merely 1 aspect when one is faced with frequent warnings of risks.

Daydreams and imagination is a powerful skill to have.  They can mould our feelings and outlook on life.  Faced with the possible dooms and glooms of pregnancy post 30 years old... where are the joys? what happened to excitement? It is wise to be prepared, however is the worrying and living life with fingers crossed actually creating this underlying gloom/doom?


You google 30 years and pregnancy and see what you get...
I instant message my hubby and the emoji/sticker replies perk me up.  I feel better, because of an emoji sticker? wow...

I get distracted and start daydreaming into creating my own emoji stickers to express myself.  When I browse through the many different sticker albums I can purchase, none really capture what I want to express in the cute/fun yet sometimes wicked way in which I want to communicate.

Now my energy and focus is on creating my own.  I've registered to create my own, and have reviewed specs for the images, and now its down to me... whether or not I actually get down to creating them or is this a mere week's distraction from the possible glooms.

I calculated the income (after all fees and taxes) for each time my sticker album is purchased and it varies between 21p-42p depending on what I price them at.
Who knows where this venture will take us?

Well there are 46 days and 47 nights to utilise on this... hahaha

Day 1 Post Honeymoon


The sun is shining warmly on a breezy October Thursday!
There is a feeling and sense of new beginnings...There is a calmness and excitement at the same time.
The repetitiveness and arguments of the past lurk, waiting to jump back in.  I feel energised to dismiss them... but how do I keep this energy focused and empowered to deal with what married life brings?

My first place to turn is to my vows...our vows...I open up the Word Document that I have saved and I read over them.  

Wow.. vows are very powerful.  I know now, that having these vows present, alive and living in what we do, breathe, smell, think will only bring good and strength in how our married life looks, feels and lives.....

I thought about previous weddings I have been to, and how I have witnessed vows exchanged, and vows broken through the declaration of divorce.  It does sadden me to know that the power in the vows when declared on those special days, may have simply transferred to empower the wants of the individual versus the individual wants of the partnership.  
oh...How our wants can change, and how we empower these wants with personal feelings backed up with self righteousness..... 
I've witnessed and know of quite a few 2nd marriages and these seem somewhat to be the lasting kind.  As if the first time, was the young naive couple believing that love will hold them together, and yet opinions ended up being stronger and maybe more important to defend and would eventually give them justification to disconnected them.  They head into the second marriage wiser, armed with the knowledge of what they definitely don't want...or thinking they are doing things differently but just same story....different partner.



so I ponder....how do I keep bringing my generosity and hold my husband with honour and respect, when Im finding him to be annoying and how will I trust that he is being passionate and understanding.....?
How do we laugh with each other to help us through the hard times, when I'm sure during those times... laughing is what we will hate each other for, when laughing is exactly what we don't feel like doing, or it just doesn't make sense to laugh.  Will our future selves trust in our past selves to give up what we think is the best thing to do at the time and just laugh anyway?

I can see how those couples who believe in the same God, have a shared love and/or something else that they are devoted to other than their husband/wife.  Some other thing that will have them practice and exercise their actions with a level of consciousness for a purpose bigger than themselves and maybe even it is that some other thing that takes up some or a lot of their time and attention which would have otherwise been overloaded/over focused on their marriage?


Here are our declaratory, contracting and additional vows

BRIDE:

I do solemnly declare that I know not of any lawful impediment why 

I, Aphoung Kxxxxxxxx Sxx may not be joined in matrimony

to Ashley Lxxxx Gxxxx

I call upon these persons here present to witness that I

Aphoung Kxxxxxxxx Sxx do take thee Ashley Lxxxx Gxxxx to be

my lawful wedded husband

I promise to bring to our marriage my attention, my patience and

my willingness to be held to account for these promises

we are making today.

I promise to always be faithful, bring love, listen for peace, 

share hugs and laugh with you to free us from any challenging times

we may face together.

Through any hard times we may face, I promise that

I will always bring generosity and hold you with honour and respect.

I will always feed you yummy food and stand by your side,

fall asleep whilst holding your hand Ash, tonight and always,

I promise.

Groom:

I do solemnly declare that I know not of any lawful impediment why

I, Ashley Lxxxx Gxxxx may not be joined in matrimony

to Aphoung Kxxxxxxxx Sxx

I call upon these persons here present to witness that 

I, Ashley Lxxxx Gxxxx do take thee Aphoung Kxxxxxxxx Sxx to be 

my lawful wedded wife

I promise to bring to our marriage my attention, my patience and

my willingness to be held to account for these promises

we are making today.

I promise to always be faithful, bring love, listen for peace, 

share hugs and laugh with you to free us from any challenging times

we may face together.

Through any hard times we may face,

I promise that I will always bring passion and understanding.

I promise to always give you real kisses and 

to rub your feet when I "owe you one" and

to fall asleep whilst holding your hand Phoung, tonight and always,

I promise.

GROOM RING VOWS:

I give you this ring as a token of my love and commitment to us and as a reminder of the promises we have made to ourselves and to each other.

Wear this amazing ring Phoung with happiness and pride,

now and always.

BRIDE RING VOWS:

I give you this ring as a token of my love and commitment to us and as a reminder of the promises we have made to ourselves and to each other.

Wear this amazing ring Ash with happiness and pride,

now and always.

Quite awesome really.

now its about thinking up of a cool way to display these vows that is practical/ easy on the eye and ultimately presence and empower us to uphold and honour them!